AMYNAJENNA FEAT. RO: THE MARRIAGE(PART V)

DJ Khaled is what he is because of his feature artists. ICONIC.  His brilliance shines through in collabs, and through these epic partnerships, he has achieved legendary status.  I, too, recognize the importance of a collab.  So, taking a note from DJ Khaled, I brought in a feature artist for today’s post – Rohan Hebbar, my ride-or-die.

It has been five years, count ‘em, five years since we tied the knot in Chicago, Illinois in front of our family and friends.  In honor of this epic occasion, we thought we would share five things we have learned throughout this thing called marriage. 

Before we get into all the things, we thought it was important to share where it all began. So – prepare yourself for a trip down memory lane.

Ok – now that we are all on the same page. Are you ready for it? 

1. Laugh Every Day

Ro: I am a firm believer in laughter as the best medicine, some argue that Motrin is the best medicine, but those people obviously just don’t have a sense of humor.  In order to make sure our marriage is high as a kite on medicine, I make it my personal mission to make Myn laugh as much as possible, even when – especially when – she’s being a grumpy Gus.  It takes a lot of effort to turn a frown upside down, but the effort is worth it.  She makes me laugh too and often so hard that she suspects that I am laughing at her instead of with her.  This is patently false most of the time.

Myn: I knew from the moment Ro rapped along to T.I.’s Whatever You Like in a taxicab in New Orleans, that he was going to make me laugh every day.  He is right, sometimes, especially during times of COVID, my alter-ego, Grumpy Gus, takes over.  Life gets overwhelming.  With a full-time job, taking care of Cassius, and keeping the house from falling into absolute chaos, I can sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture.  Ro has taught me how to chill. Sometimes, you have to peak out from beneath the mountains of to-do lists and find the joy in the small things. 

It’s true – my dance parties in the car make Ro laugh too but he is most definitely laughing at me.  Don’t believe a word he says. 

2. Family is Everything.  So is Football.

Ro: I love watching football, it is true.  We made it part of our wedding vows that I would get uninterrupted time to watch FSU and Bucs games.  I think Amyna thought this vow was a joke, but looks like the joke’s on her.  But, over the last five years of marriage, a funny thing happened, Amyna actually started watching games with me.  I wouldn’t say she’s a fan or even remotely interested in football other than overproduced, overdramatized football documentaries narrated smoothly by Jon Hamm, but she and I steadfastly believe that doing things as a family as much as possible is unequivocally good, so she watches.  And we get to blend the best of both worlds – football and family. 

Myn: When you move to Texas, you have to accept football as a religion.  Lucky Ro.  He loves the game and I love him so it only makes sense that I try to love the game too, right?  He’s right – I am all about documentaries like All or Nothing and Hardknocks, which take you into the lives of these football players and their families.  Hard not to become invested when you know their life story, you feel me?  The moral of the story – it is, of course, important to do you in a relationship but it is also paramount to put family above all else.  Over these five years, I have learned to love football.  The new meaning Sundays take come September, the unwavering commitment to coming together, one day a week, to experience something with each other – hopefully a Bucs Superbowl – the tradition of it all.

3. Compro-what?

Ro: Ah, the pillar of any successful marriage…compromise.  After only five years of marriage I don’t think we are qualified as experts by any means, but whether you’ve been married five days or five decades, compromise is the name of the game.  We compromise A LOT.  See previous Section two regarding Amyna watching football.  Myn and I are not very similar in our superficial interests – Bravo v. ESPN, designer handbags v. amazon-brand wallets etc. – but we are lockstep in our big picture, existential thinking, and what we value in life.  Never losing sight of that big picture makes compromise easy and sometimes even fun – dirty secret, I am a pretty big fan of Below Deck on Bravo. 

Myn:  When it comes to our interests, we are as opposite as they come.  Over the last five years, we have found that what is important is finding common ground.  For example, Ro loves a good drama on Netflix.  I love Dateline.  Our common ground: documentaries about prison reform, legends in professional sports, and unsolved mysteries.  To be honest, there is a lot of give and take in our relationship but Ro does most of the giving.  He puts up with J Balvin blasting through the house on the regular, he watches shows about matchmaking on Netflix, he helps me through my irrational fears of deep water – see below – and supports my attempts at healthy eating by tolerating cauliflower rice as a replacement for actual rice.  We did compromise that it would only appear on the menu once a week – totally fair.  Like all things in a relationship, compromise isn’t always equal.  But, get yourself a partner who loves you enough to do it every now and again. 

Sidenote: Below Deck for life.  Seriously, if you’re not watching that show, get to it. 

4. Adventure

Ro: Stupid freakin’ Covid – my sister has coined this phrase except she uses a different f word – is putting a damper on our adventures, but I guess it has created a world where an outing to Costco is the closest I’ll get to a Walkabout.  Myn has always treated everything we do as an adventure no matter how mundane.  She’ll even exclaim, “Let’s go on an adventure!”  I’m only slightly disappointed to learn that she means we’re going to run errands, but her enthusiasm helps feed my adventurous soul.

Myn: To some, adventure means ziplining through the rainforests in Costa Rica.  To me, it means taking a risk on a new coffee place.  Adventure has never been my jam – jumping out of planes, swinging through the fog fifty feet above the ground, swimming in deep water – you get the idea. Ro, on the other hand, loves ALL things Dateline has told you not to do.  He pushes me all the way out of my comfort zone, and most of the time, I don’t feel like punching him in the gut afterwards.  Except that time he forced me to go on the Mummy roller coaster at Universal Studios.  MISTAKE.

My contribution to this partnership – finding the adventure in the small things.  From jump, I looked forward to doing just about anything with Ro.  Car washes, grocery store runs, walks in the neighborhood, returns from my online shopping habit – I could go on.  Everything is an adventure with my PIC and I do my best to keep that spirit alive. All day, every day. 

5. Teamwork Makes the Dream Work

Myn: What makes DJ Khaled so iconic is that he knows when to fade into the background and let the feature artist shine.  So, again, taking a note from the legend, imma let Ro have the mic on this one.

Ro: I don’t think I was a great teammate until we had a baby.  I was messy, didn’t cook, and I would treat the trash like stacking a house of cards, only taking it out once disaster was imminent.  I guess you could say for the first four years of our marriage, I was like a Stephon Marbury level teammate and she was Kevin Garnett -watch the documentary about Starbury on Netflix.  Once little Cassius entered our lives, I had no choice but to change my ways and to raise my teammate game to the level of Myn.  We work hard at anticipating what the other person needs before they even ask and splitting baby and household duties 50/50 when possible.  Our main goals are to enjoy the baby and make memories as a family.  For us, the only way to fulfill those goals is to be as cohesive as a team as possible by spreading the stressful stuff – household chores, unpleasant baby duties etc. – out evenly.  I’m still messy, don’t cook, and the trash currently looks like Mount Vesuvius just before eruption, but I do other stuff to make up for it.  Trust.

Love you. Mean it.

Ro & Myn